busy and an end to suffering

Now that school has begun again around our home, plus soccer, tennis and all that other ya ya stuff that eats of my time, I haven’t had much time to shoot. I am dying to get my camera out and go crazy on someone.

Okay … switch subjects. Here’s a story that I feel needs to be documented.

The other morning while I was monitoring Macy’s outside time, I still can’t trust her to not eat cat poop, I noticed she began sniffing something in the grass. As I approach the area to further inspect, I see something brown and furry. I freak and yell her to get away from it but I wasn’t surprised. We live in the city and the property line in our backyard ends our cute and sweet little historical district where we live. Plus there is a 4 foot span between us and our back neighbors where the power lines run and it’s completely over grown with “stuff”. So, furry creatures caught by our cat is not really abnormal for us.

I get up close to it and the rat, yes mom a big huge brown rat, lay there balled up in the grass. It was still breathing. Flies were hovering viciously over it. Ants were beginning to swarm it and the rat could barely move a paw to try and flee from me. From it’s top side, it actually looked kind of cute. It wasn’t mangled in anyway but it was obviously suffering. I knew right then I needed to help it and help didn’t mean take it to the local vet. As I turned to head back into the house #3 comes out, spots it immediately and wants to round up the others to come take a look. I ask her to finish her breakfast and to not come back outside until I say so. She resists but heads inside while I go to the shed. I pick two yard tools … a shovel and a pitch fork. I can’t decide which one to use. I try to plan it out and I think one quick blow to the neck should finish the rat off. So I return to find it in the same spot and pick the shovel first. Thinking one blow would do the trick I was shocked when it began to twitch and wiggle and so I go again, MORE twitching – flaring around – legs kicking out hard. Again and again I kept trying to make each hit quick but the thing wouldn’t die. Finally after like 7 hits it’s dead and I feel horrible. I turn to look back at the house and there are both girls staring at me out the back door. Now I feel like a killer.

I pick it up in the pitch fork and place it in the shovel and toss it in between the double fences where the power lines run. I put up my tools. Head into the house. #2 meets me at the door and bluntly demands, “Mommy. Pour me some cereal and then tell me just what were you doing out there!” I serve her cereal and then all the kids sit and the table and ask, “Why did you kill that rat!” I tried my best to explain how I felt that I was doing the humane thing and it’s different killing an animal that is suffering than just catching something and then torturing it or just killing it to kill it. Thankfully my answers appeased them. None of them had anything to say except #1 said, “Very interesting.” and then he walked away.

girl content, warning!

I love Cherry Coke. I love Mr. Pibb. I need at least one of them everyday. Just one. Well I went to the boob doctor for some minor pains and small lumps. He is asking me to cut caffeine out COMPLETELY. I am not so addicted to the caffeine, though my current nagging headache begs to differ. It really is the sugar I crave. A sweet syrupy soda is what I want. I normally drink one everyday. Anytime between lunch and dinner. I savor it. This is going to be hard. I will not adjust to diet drinks. I will some how just go on without them.

The doctor says he is not worried about me. I did get the most thorough breast examine EVER! They did an ultrasound. As he was smashing my stuff all around I kept looking at the screen. I told him I can’t help but to think I should expecting to see a baby. He made a joke and said, “If we see one, we will definitely go down in the books. Haa Haa” I politely laughed back. The whole thing is weird. Some man other than your husband exploring your body. You know it’s all scientific, but it is and will always be awkward. Oh, they also flatten my twins in a machine for a mamogram. It was uncomfortable but the worst part is peeling the stickers off when its all over. OUCH! That was the worst to me. I just have some denser tissue in an area they will want to look at every year. What does that mean? I am not sure, but I am not worrying any more.

ouch

Scrubbing my face, getting ready for the day, I get out the tweezers to pluck a few stray hairs around the eyebrows. My face desperately needs sun. I have that dead of winter paleness going on. Still self tanning but it is not as good as the real thing. Anyway…. I notice along with the lack of sun, a few dark hairs around my upper lip. Tweeze them as well… ouch, OUCH! Now I know God’s wisdom is unmatched. I mean He is the “I am”. I will never be able to fully figure Him out. Normally I am okay to trust in His infinite wisdom, but I would love to know what was he thinking when he allowed the first hair to grow on a woman’s upper lip? Surely when he formed Eve in all her perfect beauty, she did not possess one unsightly hair. I mean the minute she ate the forbidden fruit did a mustache appear as a consequence and the bible just forgets to mention it?

I would love to know.

Don't throw up

I just got back from the mall and I need a minute to chill out. Me and my, as aussie teeny says.. kidlets went to do some more holiday shopping. I can handle #1 & 2. They get lost in Never Never Land but usually recognize my voice and come back to reality to follow me along the next aisle or store. #3 on the other hand is crazy wild. Very rarely will I allow her to get out of the buggy or stroller. She handles, picks up, tips over almost everything in her path. I have a one finger rule, the kids can touch anything but only with one finger, which she continually disobeys. So most of the time she spends confined and she spent her energy on finding a way to break free. I think I have used the phrase, “SIT on your BOTTOM” over a hundred times within the past 3 hours. My threats and stern looks don’t mean a thing to this independent daring child. She is determined to have her will and not any one else’s. Even if she does decide to obey, only after I have counted to 3, within 5 minutes she is at it again. Determination. I have to say she has got it.

The incident I will never fail to forget from this day is… Sears. Our mall really stinks. I mean we don’t even have a GAP. It moved out of the mall 2 years ago. From some reason Sears has the best bathroom around. Granite counter tops and everything. I know, its not what you would expect. That is where we always go for potty breaks. We head into the bathroom, and the first thing the kids say is … oooooh! It smells like poo-poo. I will admit it did not smell pleasant in there, but I quickly became aware of the fact I need to teach the kids a little discretion. I head to a fresh clean stall. #2 goes first. As I am waiting I notice splash marks along the sides of the walls of the stalls. I wonder. What happened? Then as I help #2 down, the automatic flusher goes off and toilet water spews up in the air. My face was the main target. Water droplets on my glasses, face and shirt. I think I am going to throw up. Seriously. We quickly get to the sink and I try my best to sanitize myself.

In the end, we did get accomplished what I needed to. Should we do school today. No I don’t think so. I think I will go take a shower. I had to wear a cap today to hide my messy hair. Plus I think I will really feel better if I just get clean.

What a little booger she really is. We’d all be lost with out her.